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Welcome to the Present

Mia Gilbertson, News Staff

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Great Scott! At 4:00p.m. Wednesday, October 21, 2015, we entered the future. Of course with the absence of a time machine, we took the long way-round. The year of 2015 is a tad less vibrant than what was predicted in “Back to the Future, Part 2.” In many cases this is unfortunate, but in other aspects, I am personally relieved we haven’t quite lived up to a few of those expectations.

 

Fashion

people standing

Let’s begin with the outrageous fashion statements.

Luckily for teachers and parents, we don’t wear soundboards like chest protectors. And for my sanity, I hope that remains out of style.

I’m not sure if hover boards are more dangerous than the average skateboard, but this alternate, future generation is considerably aware of their safety. Kids hardly ever wear padding when riding their longboards to school. Granted, Biff finds only one knee pad necessary, but he is still 50% safer than kids I know. Maybe we should make this the new fad.

 

In other scenes people were dressed in colors galore. Some women looked like an 80’s yoga instructors. Meanwhile, all the men needed were capes to look like a Marvel super hero.

Despite the seemingly endless differences, there were a couple similarities.

Guys seem to have developed a taste for skinny jeans/pants opposed to the classic blue jean look (I don’t know why). But, there’s that.

feet covers

More significantly, Nike has confirmed the creation of a self-tying shoe. Hello future! They aren’t the most attractive. Infact, they look like a cross between uggs and my dad’s tennis shoes. At least their practical; pay about one hundred dollars and save two long minutes of rigorous shoe-lacing skills.

 

 

 

Technology

hover board

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the hoverboard has been invented. Is it within the average person’s budget? Not in the slightest. Will it ever be? Probably by the time this technology is affordable, our generation will likely be shopping for hover chairs (the alternative to wheelchairs).

stuff things

The Google Glass is not nearly this stylish, but it’s pretty much the same concept.

Weather past, present or future, my mom would still never allow me to use such a thing at the dinner table…not that I could afford one anyway.

 

old dude and kid

Tvs have offered this feature for quite some time. But don’t make any assumptions, this doesn’t mean I know how to use it. In the movie, it was voice automated. Now that I could do.

 

 

 

bus

As usual, Doc shows up in a frantic rush with his eyes practically popping out further than his nose. He pulls a banana peel and a few other seemingly bio-friendly ingredients from the trash, and was suddenly fueled up and ready to go. Biofuel is a proposed alternative to the common fuels used today. However, this method has not gained much traction because creating it is not as easy as Mr. Fusion’s Home Energy Reactor makes it seem.

automated dog

Thank the heavens that we have this life changing technology. Walking our dogs is too 2012. Do you see how happy that dog looks? I think he’d agree with me.

 

 

doorknob thing

Naturally, the only way to open doors in the future is a finger scanner. No need for door knobs. That is, unless the electricity goes out and the house is on fire, and you happen to be inside. In that case, a door knob could be helpful. Otherwise, it seems foolproof; if you know where the scanner is.

 

 

kick a car

“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads,” said Doc. Nope, we do. Last of the amazing technological inventions featured throughout the trilogy, is the flying/time traveling car (beats a Lambo any day). No we do not have flying cars; not to state the obvious. There is a rumor that engineers are in the process of inventing one, but this could be a tale generated by the combination of internet and ignorant internet users. Should they prove less ignorant than I suspect, I will gladly admit defeat and find myself a car dealer.

 

 

Randomness

While the future people were predicted to have horrible taste in clothes, they had an apparently decent taste in music. Walk into a restaurant these days, and you hear the word “baby” repeated ten time over. Walk into the funky dinner in “Back to the Future,” and there’s Michael Jackson jamming in the background.

There was also the wild fact that the Cubs won the World Series. Some believe the Cubs have a chance at it this year. A conspiracy theorist might just bet his money on it.

Plus, jury duty doesn’t seem like such a chore, in fact, it may not exist. According to the reliably factual Doc, all lawyers have been abolished. Why? Ask the conspiracy theorist.

Who needs lawyers anyway?  

 

Back to the Past

trumps twin

If you’ve got taste in movies you’d know that Doc and McFly return to their present Saturday, October 26, 1985. In this, a hidden, disturbing prediction is made.

In case you have bad taste, I’ll give you a quick nutshell of events. Biff, the butt-head with bad hair, gets filthy rich, and ends up running casinos, basically along with the country. Hmm…sounds familiar. I’ll just leave you with that

Who’s the conspiracy theorist now? Oh god, it’s me.

 

Back to Sanity
“Back to the Future, Part 2” anticipated a bizarre and far-fetched future. Still, it may not be as far off the bullseye as we originally suspected. Welcome to the present.

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Mia Gilbertson, News Staff

If you’ve seen her in class, you’d conclude that she is quiet and that’s about it. If you’ve seen her in the halls, you’d think her earbuds were...

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