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The Martian Review

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The Martian Review

Mia Gilbertson, News Staff

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The Martian, Starring Matt Damon, had generally good ratings. Nothing below four stars, as expected from sci-fi enthusiast Ridley Scott who directed movies such as Alien and Prometheus.

 

Basically, this is yet another movie where the U.S. government spends millions of dollars trying to rescue Matt Damon. Need some examples? Consider Interstellar and Saving Private Ryan; yes, ladies and gentleman, Matt Damon is the reason why your taxes are so high. Of course, I’m not complaining considering it was fun to watch (and I didn’t pay for my own movie ticket, let alone taxes).

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The character, Mark Watney, played by Matt Damon, was a complete optimist. In fact, he is his own level of optimistic. He was left behind on Mars after getting body slammed by a flying piece of debris. He was utterly alone. All the music he had to listen was made no later than the 80’s. While my biggest issue is an unsatisfied craving for pizza, Mark Watney had to grow potatoes on a planet where crops didn’t grow. In doing so he had to make fertilizer from his own, well, business. He also blows himself up in the process. Then, to make things that much better, his botanist-manufactured-farming-environment, practically explodes freezing his potatoes. In attempt to reserve what he has left, he must eat about one half a slice of a potato a day. Plus he ran out of ketchup.

In the midst of this chaos he managed to make communication. He had some of the world’s greatest scientists in his corner. With all their great minds put together they devised a plan to save the martian. Basically it consisted of gutting his ship and blasting off with nothing but a tarp as a roof. I don’t think I need to point out the scientific and aerodynamic holes in this plan, the hole in the roof kind of spells it out for you don’t you think? But of course, he goes for it.  His brave crew members were to receive him in outer space. Things were going mostly according to plan, until the tarp falls off (shocker), and Mark Watney ends up too far from his crew’s ship to be rescued. Still after all of this, Mark Watney hasn’t given up. He decides that he’ll Iron Man his way to the ship by cutting a hole in the hands of his suit, thereby propelling him through space. There are holes in that plan too. Granted, after all he’s been through, he’s earned the right to impersonate Iron Man. Luckily the new found botanist/super hero makes his way to the ship and receives a warm greeting from his crew mates.

After returning home as a well respected space cadet, he gives a lecture to the next generation of space explorers. He says, “At some point, everything’s gonna go south on you and you’re going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That’s all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem and you solve the next one, and then the next. And If you solve enough problems, you get to come home.” There an optimist for you. He didn’t even mention that if his crew had listened to him and waited out the storm, that hole dilemma could have been avoided. Then again how boring would that be.

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Mia Gilbertson, News Staff

If you’ve seen her in class, you’d conclude that she is quiet and that’s about it. If you’ve seen her in the halls, you’d think her earbuds were...

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